Sleep Training a Newborn: Advice from a Pediatrician

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Sleep training is a process used to teach your baby to fall asleep on their own and stay asleep. It is a highly debated topic among parents, who wonder if the benefits of this training outweigh the risks. For this article, I have the pleasure to have Petra K. McEwan, M.D, discuss her thoughts on sleep training a newborn.

Petra K. McEwan, M.D is a Board-Certified Pediatrician and voice behind Wifey Mommy Doc, a blog that provides helpful and research-based parenting information for families. You can subscribe to here blog here for her free monthly nourishment planner.

Below is a discussion of sleep training a newborn from a Board-Certified Pediatrician.

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Should you sleep train your NB?

If you’re reading this with a newborn around, you’re probably sleep-deprived and exhausted. Or, maybe you’re a pregnant mom who’s just looking for some tips to be prepared for when your baby makes his grand entrance. No matter what stage you are, I want to first say congratulations! You’ve been blessed with a little person to take care of. And while this is definitely an exciting time, it’s definitely not an easy one.

I’ve been where you are.

As a Pediatrician and mom of five (now ages 2-15 years), I’ve had my share of sleepless nights (and days) with newborns. My youngest was probably the worst sleeper of them all, since the day he was born. I’d nurse him and rock him to sleep without any problems. But every time I tried to put him down, he’d wake up after just a few minutes. He really was allergic to his bassinet! And with safe-sleep and SIDS prevention in mind, I wasn’t really comfortable sleeping with him. 

So I struggled.

As a Pediatrician, I get a lot of questions about sleep training. How young is too young? Is it effective? Should I let my baby cry it out? Does it help or hurt my baby? As a working mom, I hear and understand where those questions are coming from, since I’ve been there myself. In fact, one recent study showed that many babies sleep through the night at 4-6 months, but up to 57%  don’t at 1 year.

Even though I would’ve loved to get a little extra sleep in those early days, I’ve never been one to believe in sleep training my newborn. I’ll explain why. 

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But first, what is sleep training?

Sleep training is basically teaching your baby to go to sleep and stay asleep without needing your help. That means without needed to be held, rocked, or soothed. It’s become popular over the past several years, and there are even professionals you can pay to come to your house to do it for you. The clear benefit is that your baby sleeps longer, which means more rest for you. 

So, why am I against sleep training your newborn?

1. Your baby needs you. When your baby is born, he doesn’t know how to self-soothe. He relies on you to meet his needs. your baby needs (and wants) to be comforted by you. He may not know how to put himself to sleep. It’s a skill he’ll learn a little later on – but likely not within the first few weeks. 
2. Your baby’s tummy is tiny. It’s perfectly normal for your newborn to feed every 2-3 hours (sometimes sooner). That’s because his stomach is small – really about the size of his little fist. It can’t hold very much milk at one time, so he gets hungry and needs to feed often to be satisfied. Plus, if you’re breastfeeding, your milk is pretty easy for your baby to digest. That means he’ll feed, his intestines will absorb what he needs, he’ll poop out what he doesn’t need, and he’ll be hungry and ready to feed again pretty soon. And if he’s hungry and needs to feed this often, his sleep is interrupted because of it.
3. Your baby’s diaper needs to be changed often. A typical rule of thumb for newborns is to have at least one wet diaper per day of life, up to a max of about 7-8 per day. Stools can vary, but can sometimes be as often as the wet diapers. That’s a whole lot of diaper changes! And many babies don’t like to sleep in a dirty diaper. Again, that means more chances for your baby to wake up because he needs you!
4. It can decrease your breast milk supply. If you’re breastfeeding, you need to feed often enough to maintain your supply. That usually means every 2-3 hours – the same amount of time your baby’s tiny tummy can usually last between feedings. Frequent feedings in the early days is essential for your milk to come in and to establish a good supply. Breast feeding is a “supply and demand” type of deal. If you force your baby to go longer stretches and don’t stimulate your breasts (either by the baby or pumping), your brain will tell your breasts that you don’t need as much milk anymore. 
5. It goes against what’s natural. I’m a firm believer that if something has to be “forced”, it just isn’t natural and probably shouldn’t be done. If it feels like you’re forcing your baby to go to sleep or stay asleep, it’s very likely that now just isn’t the right time. (Now I’m not saying this can’t be done in late infancy or toddlerhood, but in the newborn period it’s just not natural). 
6. Your newborn follows his own schedule. Your baby has a sleep/wake cycle that’s VERY different from older babies, children, and adults. He’ll likely sleep for the majority of the day and want to be awake at night. It takes a few weeks to months for that to switch, and it’s hard to force your baby to make that change. 

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What can you do instead of sleep training your newborn?

1. Start a good sleep routine at “bedtime”. This can include a bath, soft music, singing, reading a book, dimming the lights (not too dark, though, because most newborns think nighttime is playtime), etc. Anything that helps your newborn to settle and get used to the idea of going to sleep. I recommend getting your baby used to this routine early on. 
2. Wait until your baby’s 3-6 months old. Your baby may sleep through the night as early as 3 months. By this time, he doesn’t need to feed or need a diaper change as often and can hopefully soothe himself better than before. You may start to notice that he naturally creates his own schedule, and you can just follow his lead. Continue his bedtime routine and try putting him down while drowsy, but not asleep. And at this age, if he wakes in the middle of the night, it’s ok to allow him time to self-soothe and settle back to sleep before you pick him up. The American Academy of Pediatrics shares a few tips for getting baby to sleep here.
3. Sleep when your baby sleeps. I know you’ve probably heard this a ton of times, but this tip really works! You never know what your night’ll look like with your newborn. You don’t know if he’ll be up and feeding every hour, or if you’ll get a nice 4-hour stretch of sleep. So, try your best to sleep when you can. If he’s giving you longer stretches during the day, go ahead and sleep then! You can always adapt and switch your days/nights when your baby eventually does.
4. Don’t worry about household duties. You’re now responsible for another human! I’m giving your permission to let a few things around the house slide while you adapt to this new life. Don’t worry about the laundry piling up, the dishes in the sink, or your sticky floors. Delegate what you can. Get help for your older kids (if you have any). Order food instead of cooking. Accept help when it’s offered. Again, if your baby’s sleeping, you should try to get some rest, too!
5. Take care of yourself. I know how easy it is to get absorbed in your newborn that you forget to take care of yourself. This is SO important – especially if you’re a breastfeeding mama! Aim to eat as balanced as you can, drink plenty of water, and take your prenatal vitamins if recommended by your doctor. Again, sneak in naps when your baby’s resting. Brush your teeth, brush your hair, put on your favorite comfy clothes. Whatever it takes to make you still feel like yourself. 

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When it’s all said and done, I just want you to do whatever works for you! Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Don’t compare your experience to anyone else. You won’t necessarily spoil or ruin your little one’s sleep habits if you don’t sleep train him early on. There’s also no guarantee that sleep training your young baby will last through toddler-hood.

I was always that mom who’d feed and rock my babies to sleep until they were over a year old. And they’re all pretty awesome sleepers to this day! Getting your little one to sleep on his own is definitely a gradual process. So don’t stress yourself out. Just do what you can to enjoy your newborn and to survive this stage. It all goes by way too fast! 

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Thank you so much Petra K. McEwan, M.D for your discussion of sleep training a newborn. If you would like to read more for this Board-Certified Pediatrician, you can check out her blog here. She has articles on everything from breastfeeding and parenting to relationships and self-care.

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Conclusion

Congratulations on your new baby! It is such a blessing, and I am so happy that you are educating yourself on what to expect. Preparation brings a level of confidence that is so important to new parents. Remember that you can always check out our BABY ACADEMY for all of our prenatal resources for new parents. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do to help!

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Free Prenatal Class

Enjoy a free prenatal class from the comfort of your own home! This is a course that I wrote based on a decade of professional and personal experiences regarding everything from childbirth to newborn care. This is a self-paced course that you can watch anytime and anywhere you want! You can sign up HERE. I look forward to connecting with you! – Rachel

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Exciting News!!

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