I have been a nurse for a long time now, and honestly the amount of disrespectful and just flat out nasty patients I see is very shocking. As a nurse, I want to help everyone in my care. If someone is nasty, I will get them what they are asking for eventually. However, I will move heaven and earth to help out a sweet and respectful patient. I know the majority of patients want to be respectful and mindful of their healthcare team. In this article, I will discuss how to be the perfect patient. It basically is a guide to become the patient that every nurse wants to have!
Some Past Experiences
I decided to write this article because I know that everyone wants to have a good experience in the hospital. Honestly, your healthcare staff play a huge role in your patient experience. Treat your team with respect and compassion, and they will do the same for you.
I have had my fair share of disrespectful patients. I am too nice sometimes, and people think that they can use that to their advantage. In this article, we will talk about a few different types of disrespectful patients. Please do not fall into one of these categories!
The “Snappers”
A few times I have the “snappers”. That is a huge pet peeve of any nurse. They sit in the bed and snap with their fingers and motion for you to bring them something. Please do not do this! We are not your servants, we are people. I understand if there is a language barrier, but you can always motion politely instead.
Another reason these kind of get to me is because I work in postpartum, and the worst thing a new mom can do is lay in bed all day. That can cause blood clots and other serious issues. It is good to make little trips here and there to get out of the bed. The “snappers” usually just lay down and snap around! The perfect patient tries to get up and walk as tolerated, and makes their wishes known in a polite way.
The “Domino”
Now this one is not necessarily someone who is disrespectful, as much as someone who just needs to be considerate. I get a “domino” every day as a nurse. I enter a room to see if a a patient needs something. She says yes I would like some water. So I get the water and come back. She then says she wants some socks. I ask if she needs anything else while I am out, and she says no.
So I come back and she says actually she wants a toothbrush and toothpaste. I come back and she wants pain medicine. So I give that to her and ask if she needs anything else. She says no so I move to the next patient. She then calls me and says she actually needs more towels. That my friends, is a domino.
I understand that as a patient you have needs, but one way the perfect patient can be considerate is simply by making a list of what they need to avoid the back and forth game. I would so much prefer that over dealing with a “domino”.
The “Entitled Demander”
I encourage all my patients to be active in their healthcare decisions, and make well-informed choices. However, the “Entitled Demander” is someone who is aggressive in the way they express their wishes, and usually do not listen to medical advice at all. Of course, every patient has the right to refuse treatment, but the “entitled demander” does not listen to the advice to begin with.
They are usually very demanding and use the call button every 5 minutes for things that honestly they could have done on their own. The biggest characteristic of the “entitled demander” is they are usually the ones who are looking for reasons to sue the hospital or complain to management.
As a nurse, we try our best to treat every patient with respect and compassion. The “Entitled Demander” usually wants the undivided attention of their healthcare team. They forget that they are not the only patient in the hospital, and if a nurse takes more than 5 minutes to answer their call light and bring them water, then they were not treated how they deserve.
Expectations vs Reality
It is okay to have high expectations about your hospital experience, but it is so important to also be realistic. As a postpartum nurse, we usually have about 8 patients a day – 4 moms and 4 babies. A patient in a higher acuity unit, such as labor and delivery or NICU will see their nurses much more often because those nurses do not have as many patients. It is realistic to see a labor nurse every 15-30 minutes while in labor, but it is not realistic to see your postpartum nurse every 15 minutes the day after you deliver.
I once admitted a mother to postpartum who had a cesarean birth about 4 hours earlier. She was stable, and I was with her for about an hour upon her admission. I then said I will let her rest and be back in an hour. I came back that next hour and she complained why I was not in there every 15 minutes like when she was in recovery. That is an unrealistic expectation, and can set someone up for a lot of disappointment. The perfect patient is realistic about their expectations and is not an “Entitled Demander”.
The “Hoarder”
Now this might be a little controversial, but a “hoarder” is next on my list. While at the hospital, we supply you with everything you need for your stay. I am also a very generous nurse, so in the beginning of my shift I take time to make sure everyone has their cribs stocked and pads/underwear as necessary.
A “hoarder” takes advantage of the supplies and packs everything away and asks for more. I have literally been in the process of stocking a crib with diapers, wipes, formula, and blankets and had the family take the items that I just stocked and put them in their bag…as I am still stocking it! The crib is open and I am putting in blankets, and the family reaches in and takes the diapers I just put inside and stuffs it into their bag. That is just disrespectful.
The “Hoarders” are usually private hoarders or public hoarders. The public hoarders do not hide the fact that they are stealing all the supplies. Some even came with an empty duffel bag to put everything in. I have seen them ask me for supplies, then ask the PCA, then ask the doctor, then ask the birth certificate lady. She pretty much asks everyone who comes into the room for supplies.
If you are tight on money, I get that. I would rather a patient be honest with me, then just steal everything in site. When you are honest I try my best to make sure that you are prepared for your baby. We have community programs we can refer you to, we have extra supplies we would love to provide you with until you get situated. The perfect patient is honest, they are not a “hoarder”
The “Thief”
The difference between the “hoarder” and the “thief” is that the thief tries to take supplies that are obviously not to take home. I actually had patients try to take home the breast pumps! These breast pumps are bound to a rack, they literally unscrewed the pump from the rack and attempted to take it home.
I actually had a patient even try to steal the crib bassinet! We have the crib itself, and then a clear plastic bassinet. Once I actually saw someone take out the bassinet with the mattress and attempt to put it in their bag.
One huge pet peeve, especially now, is when patients steal medical supplies to bring home. I have seen patients try to steal the thermometers (yes the big ones), gloves, masks, surgical gowns, and even the foot covers! When the COVID-19 pandemic first started we actually had to keep all of our gloves and hand sanitizer at the nurses station because all the patients kept stealing the supplies. Especially now with how tight medical supplies are with this pandemic, do not steal essential supplies from the hospital staff.
Characteristics of the Perfect Patient
Now you do not need to be the patient that buys the whole floor dinner to the perfect patient. Honestly the ones that are my favorite are the ones that are honest, compassionate, patient, and overall fun to be around.
I made so many amazing memories caring for my patients and sharing past experiences and stories. Remember that we are all human, your healthcare staff are not robots with no feelings. Treat others how you would like to be treated and you will see a huge difference.
Conclusion
Congratulations on your new baby! It is such a blessing, and I am so happy that you are educating yourself on what to expect. Preparation brings a level of confidence that is so important to new parents. Remember that you can always check out our BABY ACADEMY for all of our prenatal resources for new parents. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do to help!
Free Prenatal Class
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Exciting News!!
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